CALL FOR ON-COURSE PROOF/BREATHALYZER CHECK
In the grocery check-out aisle the other day, a man in front of me who I guessed was around 70 years old, was paying for a four-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, when to my astonishment I heard the counter-woman ask him for proof of age.
The man let out an immediate and loud, “You can’t be serious I’m 76 years old!”
The woman’s reply: “Sorry, we have to do this,” prompting the man to pay and storm off out the door.
While I found this proof-check absurd, I’ll tell you what’s even more absurd: Watching two young men of legal age purchase a couple of six packs of beer at the golf course’s snack bar to load up on their golf carts in ice-filled coolers, or pay for two golf carts, drive back to the parking lot, load up their clubs onto the powered carts, and, as well, put into each cart a cooler of beer, brought from a local store.
Nothing wrong so far (unless, of course, the gents that bought the beer at the snack bar showed fake proof.)
But, considering Florida’s drinking age minimum is 21, there is something wrong when the passengers of each cart, that look like sixteen or seventeen or eighteen, tops, help themselves to some brewskies, then after a few holes and a couple of beers later, are allowed to take over the wheel, so that the older chaps can get wasted.
Prior to launching my writing career, I worked as an assistant golf professional at three golf clubs, one private, one public, one township course. So I’ve witnessed a golf cart being driven into a water hazard by a drunk, a drunken woman hit the gas instead of the break and drive right into the legs of another woman, injuring her, carts driven over greens and fringes, and driven right up to the bathroom door.
The worst incident of an over-the-limit golfer took place at a country club I was a member of, in Florida, about ten years ago.
On the eighteenth hole, with all the money riding on this Par-5 hole, a member, from Michigan, who liked his booze, was in the middle of his swing when a dog, in the yard bordering the hole, and right up against the fence, started barking, so much the member topped his shot.
Right away, he threw down his club, ran toward the yard, hopped the fence, and was actually trying to strangle the dog, before pulled off by other members. The member did not only lose the hole, he was thrown out of the club.
With my own stories to tell it did not surprise me one bit to hear that on a Portland, Oregon golf course, two men who were hitting golf balls, from greens to tees, rather than tees to greens, and who once challenged by two other golfers, were beaten with golf clubs and seriously injured.
Police, arrests, one of the perpetrators claiming he didn’t remember a thing, fines, jail time, anger management courses – – all due to an overindulgence of booze, not in a bar or behind the wheel of a car, but on a golf course!
If golf is to stay a gentlemen’s game, our golf courses have to be policed, just like they do on the television reality show, North Woods Law, from Maine – – look for drunken boaters, fisherman and hunters doing their thing without licenses, baiting deer, or shooting from their trucks.
Police, and/or undercover cops, should be able to arrive at a course, at random, be assigned a golf cart, and ride around the course checking for fake proof, and if when taking a Breathalyzer golfers fail, there should also be serious consequences. And if beer was sold to underage golfers by snack bar personnel they should be given a warning and fine, and the next time, the snack bar shut down.
The country is getting too liberal and to stop this we must chip away at the bad boys, by posting new rules and etiquette laws at golf courses around the country.
Remember, even if you son or daughter gets away with things at the golf course, they still have make it home, with them driving drunk or sitting in the back a car driven by a drunk.